Catharsis or Madness

Today I was in the mood to write. Most of what I do is surrounded by writing - my coursework for example. I also write a motorsport blog (Musings of a Motorsport Geek), from which some of you may already know me. I've always been generally good at writing, although I don't always recognise this in myself.


I figure that most of you reading this already know me (if, indeed, anyone at all is reading!). But for those of you who don't know who I am, let me give you a brief overview. I'm a final year psychology student at university, and I'm hoping to progress to a PhD in neuroscience over the coming year.  I've been at university for four years now, having done a placement in the 2012-2013 academic year. I learnt a lot from the placement year, more than perhaps I have learnt throughout the rest of my degree. Lots of my friends graduated last year, and so I'm finding that this year I'm pretty much on my own and I have to admit, I've not been looking forward to it. Part of the reasoning behind this blog is to ramble on about university, hopefully without boring everyone to death. I thought it would be interesting to see how my opinions change over the course of my final year, and hopefully one day I'll look back and find it funny how I used to think. We'll see, it's a long way off.

My university experience to date has been a rollercoaster (for want of a better cliche). My first year was hell, I'll admit. Those of you who have known me for many years realise I'm crazy to the core, but not in the stereotypical student partying/drinking way. Think more along the lines of nose in a book/quiet madness. Thus, when I was living in a student house during year 1, I didn't particularly fit in. I even caught my housemates talking about me behind my back one evening ('She's so weird, she always stays in her room studying!'). I suppose I was perceived as a bit of a recluse (I probably still am, come to think of it!), but all I really did to offend people was read books and write essays. I always tried to be friendly towards my housemates, even when they were having parties until 3am when I had lectures the next day. Thankfully, I survived the first year on campus, and in my second year I moved in with good friends, so the following two years were great (if completely insane!).

My placement year was fantastic. Sure, I had the usual ups and downs (who doesn't?) but overall I learnt a lot and gained a lot of experience. I even published an article about hemispatial neglect (a disorder of attention following a stroke which leaves patients unable to attend to stimuli contralateral to the site of injury - following all this?). On Friday last week, I presented a poster about my placement experience, and it was nice to hear what other students were doing. It was also pretty good hearing from a lecturer (who's quite a harsh marker by the way) that my writing was 'exceptional', and I should apply to PhDs at Oxbridge. Confidence boosts are fun, although the accompanying pressure to apply to particular universities is not so great. No matter, decisions don't have to be made in a day.

So now we reach my fourth year. I've chosen to take modules in clinical psychology, developmental psychology and neuroscience - although having learnt so much on placement, I'm doubtful I'll find anything very exciting in these classes. I also have very little coursework (only eight assignments, seven of which are due in next term), so aside from dissertation/final year project work (running a randomised clinical trial) I'm not so sure I'll have a lot to do. On the plus side, the free time means I'm able to take a French course (call me crazy) and I'll have enough money to perhaps go away and see new things. Time will tell.

In other news, I had my first lectures last week, and they were the usual introductory things that tell you very little and let you go home early. I wasn't overly impressed with what I saw to be honest - although to be fair I was pulled out of my first lecture by my supervisor (long story!). I figure that I'm now very clear on where I want to go in my career, and having had a taster last year I'm reluctant to go back to learning about bearded men pontificating about how they think the mind works. I'm hopeful that the year will improve and I'll learn a few things, although at the same time I may be overly optimistic here. I'll keep an open mind and see how things progress.

Now, my PhD applications. I'll probably keep this part obscure over the coming weeks (those to whom I am close will know about all of this, and the rest of you will hear when I'm certain of what's happening), but let's just say I'm applying to multiple universities to undertake a project in clinical neuroscience. I'm still waiting for a lot of applications to open, but once the forms are in the waiting should be over, and my sanity restored somewhat.

Lastly, I feel I should write a bit of a disclaimer. I have to confess that my academic career hasn't often won me friends, as I suppose people can sometimes think I'm arrogant or obnoxious. I think the centre to this problem lies in the fact that I often write about my achievements, and without the cues provided by face-to-face interaction you can't tell that I'm often surprised by how well I do, even if people tell me I should be used to it by now. I don't brag, but I am proud of what I've done to date and when I'm saying this through the medium of text these two may seem similar. So, if at any point during this blog you think I'm being obnoxious, arrogant or anything else of that ilk, please don't be offended. It's likely that I've become over-excited about some piece of coursework, and want to share my excitement. We'll see what the coming year holds...