Graduation!

Alright, it's been well over a month since I graduated (almost two months, actually), and I never posted anything! Ridiculous, considering this whole blog had been leading up to that moment. So here it is, my very belated blog about my graduation day.

In short, it was a truly fantastic day, and I spent it with almost all of my favourite people. I'd heard the month before that I'd won two prizes (the British Psychological Society Undergraduate Award, for having the highest overall degree grade on graduation, and the Applied Psychology Prize, for having the highest grade in my placement year), so the afternoon started by going to the reception to pick up the awards. What I didn't realise was that I'd won a third prize too, the Social Sciences Rotary Prize, for 'distinguished performance in the stage 3 exams'! It was a lovely surprise, and my supervisor was pretty pleased he'd managed to keep that one a surprise.

After the reception, we all headed down to the cathedral to pick up the ridiculous robes and hat in preparation for the ceremony.

 Of course, it was the windiest day ever, so keeping the hat on, the robes steady and the dress in the right place was a little challenging. The ceremony itself was pretty long, and there was a lot of queuing, however picking up the certificate felt good! It was a great way of celebrating four years of hard work, and I'm so pleased that I finally achieved it.

So, what now? Well, in two weeks I'm due to begin my master's degree! Earlier this week, I managed to pay £9,550 of tuition fees - without a loan, but with the help of some very generous people, my wages for the past year and a half and the rest of my savings account. It was pretty daunting, but having looked at some of the lectures I think I can say I made the right choice. Neurons, neurons and more neurons! I'm very much looking forward to it, and next week I'm meeting a potential supervisor for the project element of the course. It's been hard work, and no doubt there will be more hard work to come, but everything is finally coming together! As for this blog, well, I don't know whether I'll carry on. I probably will, but maybe not as regularly as I was posting during my final year - there looks like a lot more work on the MSc course, so who knows if I'll have time! Whatever happens, it's been fun! No doubt I'll look back on all this writing and reminisce about the whole of my undergraduate degree experience. I'm now a 'Bachelor of Science' - this time next year I'll have upgraded to 'Master'. That's a pretty cool thought!

Results

Almost a month since my last post - and what a month it's been! At the end of May, I finished my final undergraduate degree exams and officially entered my summer break (which for me, means more work to be honest - I have tuition fees to raise!). A couple of weeks after finishing my exams, I left the UK for a week to go visit a friend in Switzerland and reward myself for finishing the degree. While I was there, I got my results.

For those of you who don't know me so well, you should realise that I am a bit of a weirdo. Actually, let's face it, even people who don't know me so well already know that. What you should know is that I hate receiving exam results. I don't get anxious for exams, but I am a nervous wreck when it comes to finding out how I've done. I've always said that you can give me any number of exams and I'll sit them with no problem, just don't make me look at the outcome. Luckily, being on holiday definitely reduced the anxiety, largely as I didn't have internet access for most of the day. But, I needn't have worried anyway. I finished my degree with straight firsts in all of my modules, with 85% in both my dissertation and neuroscience modules. Phew!

Of course, I am very happy with having a first class degree overall, but what matters more to me is my overall degree percentage. I wouldn't have been content with a first class at only 70%, so I set myself a goal of 80% overall. It was achievable, providing I had excellent grades overall (and I was a little thrown by my clinical psychology modules to be honest). So, imagine my joy when I calculated my final grade at 81.45%! It's a completely arbitrary figure really, but I'm incredibly pleased nonetheless.

I'd be happy to leave my degree results there, but today I received more news. Along with my great grades, it seems I've also won a few prizes! I received the prize for the best placement year grades - something I was hoping for, but wasn't sure I'd get - and (even better) the British Psychological Society Undergraduate Award for the highest overall degree grade on graduation. If I was pleased with my results, I'm ecstatic now! The BPS award in particular is my second prize from the organisation, having previously been awarded the A-Level prize for my psychology grade at college. Both are huge achievements, and I feel very proud of my hard work over the years.

So, the last thing remaining is my graduation in two weeks. I'm looking forward to wearing the ridiculous outfit and finally picking up my certificate - it's been a long time coming, and it's a great way to celebrate the past four years. Let's just hope I don't fall over in the cathedral!

The End

On Wednesday at 11:30, I finished my degree. It was a pretty surreal moment during the exam. I finished the second essay question (the final one I would ever write at Kent) and it hit me that I was actually done. I'd been waiting for that moment for a very long time, and it was weird thinking that it was actually there at last. For the past couple of days, I've been feeling a bit lost - well, you spend four years of your life working towards something, what are you supposed to do when you reach the end? But today at least I feel a bit more normal, and I haven't woken up with the thought of "what am I meant to revise today?". Now I just have a mere three and a half months to wait for my Master's to start. I say 'wait', what I actually mean is 'spend three and a half months raising £5,500 so I can actually pay for my Master's and travel to London'. Hopefully I'll be able to do this quickly. In any case, as long as I have my tuition fees (just under £900 to go!) and enough for my first three-month season ticket (£1,364, assuming the prices don't go up just yet), at least I will be able to start - then I'll worry about the other money when I have to. As always, if you feel you'd like to help my cause, please visit my fundraising page. As you can see, I've made good progress so far!

Anyway, back to my BSc. I won't pretend that I've loved every second of my degree (far from it!), but I can definitely say that I did enjoy it overall. My first year wasn't great. While many students adore fresher's week and like the fact that first year grades don't count, I can't say I have this mindset. Apart from statistics, the first year was a repeat of my A-Levels, and so I didn't learn a huge amount. I also had a complete nightmare with my first year housemates (parties until 3/4am most weekdays, an irrational fear of housework, chicken bones on the table and week-old lasagne on the top of the fridge. Nice.), and the original group of friends I'd made in the first term dropped me when I stopped giving handouts of my notes (motivated by the fact that they wouldn't show up to lectures if I gave them notes) and told them I couldn't afford rent for a house with a £2,000 deposit. I have to say that I came close to quitting quite a few times in my first year! On the flip side, I did make some great friends in the second term, and found a house for my second year. I also had fantastic grades (well, what do you expect with multiple choice exams?), and won a prize for my exam results, so my first year wasn't terrible.

My second year was my favourite year. I felt like I did learn things, and hugely enjoyed biological and cognitive psychology. It was the most intensive year of my degree - essay after essay, four statistics exams and six written exams - but I do thrive on a heavy workload. I was also living away from the idiots of first year, and we had a hell of a lot of fun in the house. Alright, some crazy moments were perhaps mentally scarring (those who were there know why), but it was fun overall! Second year was also the year in which I had my first taste of research. I helped on a project investigating prosopagnosia (face-blindness) being run by my current supervisor, which made it easy to start work on my placement year.

The summer following my second year was spent working. I kind of started my placement early, and to be honest, I never really stopped this work! Third year was the year in which I learned the most - funny, considering this was the year that I didn't have a single lecture. I started working on a project investigating disorders of consciousness. I don't think I will ever forget the moment I first worked with a patient. We went to the hospital and I thought we were just going to meet the patient - imagine my surprise when my supervisors said to start setting up the EEG. I think I'd only had one practice, running an EEG on a healthy person is nothing like setting up an EEG on a (quite ill) patient. Nothing like being thrown in at the deep end! After a while though, this becomes second nature, and I gained so many skills from the year as a whole. As well as the disorders of consciousness study, I also helped on a study investigating hemispatial neglect (a condition in which patients don't attend to stimuli on the opposite side of their brain lesion - usually the left), started working towards my current migraine study, and even published my first peer-reviewed article!

I'm very happy I decided to do a placement. I often had my doubts, and it was incredibly hard when everyone I knew finished their exams and graduated. You can't help but feel that you're being left behind. But, the experience I gained was invaluable, and some moments I experienced when working with patients were incredible. Plus, I think I would have gained a lot less from my degree if I'd have skipped the placement.

So, my final year. Again, this wasn't my favourite year of my degree. It seemed to crawl by so slowly. I didn't really know anyone in the lectures, two out of my four optional modules were so badly organised that I still don't really know what they were trying to achieve, a third optional module I took purely because it was the only one with a vaguely cognitive element, and the final one could have been fantastic, had I not learned everything on my placement year (it was convened by my supervisor, so I should have known)! However, my grades this year have been brilliant - something I can only attribute to the placement - and I had the chance to cite myself in one of my essays (it turns out, quite a lot of other students did this as well - fame at last!). I am glad that I had the chance to coordinate the migraine study during my final year, as it was really the only thing I had to do. So, not a great year overall, but I did enjoy working on my final year project and extended neuroscience essay. Hopefully, I'll get good grades in my exams, and I should end up with a first overall.

While my degree has had its ups and downs, I think that deciding to go to university was the best decision I have ever made. If you'd have said to me five or six years ago that I'd be here now, having seen patients recover from various neurological problems, published an article and ended up with such high grades, I'd have told you that you were insane. It's funny how these things turn out!

What to do now then? In a few weeks I'll be off on holiday. Other than that, I have a bit more research work to do. Then, I'll be starting my MSc. I'll be interested to see how the MSc turns out - it should be more intensive than my BSc, and much more in line with my research interests. Plus, I've moved up to one of the UK's best unis, so we'll see whether this gives me even more work to do. Whatever happens, I'm sure I'll enjoy it, and I can look back at my BSc as the start of it all. I just can't believe it's over!

Final Fortnight

Despite my resolve to continue updating my blog weekly, things seem to have gotten away from me a little, as it's almost a month since I last posted! To be honest, there's not a huge amount to report since my last update - it's been constant revision for around a month now. As I mentioned in my last post, I hate revising. Really. It's so boring, and there's not much to it beyond trying to memorise names and dates by heart, condensing endless notes so that single words are triggers for whole paragraphs, and generally twisting all the things you know to make them fit the questions you're asked. As mind-numbingly boring as it sounds (and is), it does seem to pay off in the end. Well, I hope I still think this on results day.

This week, I had my first two exams. I think they went well enough, but you never really know until you get the results. In any case, I'm certain to get a first class degree (well, unless I get zeros in all my assignments - unlikely, but I don't want to tempt fate!), so the rest of the marks are purely for my own pride. This exam period has been very different from those of the last six/seven years (or however long it's been since I started 'formal' education again after my years of home education), but it's been nice not worrying as much.

So, I'm halfway through this year's exams. Last week, I handed in my dissertation too - that was a good moment! Thankfully, it didn't end up 170 pages long (a few words with my supervisor and the module convenor led me to drop some irrelevant tables and figures), but I think 65+ pages was more than enough. Next week, I have my second clinical psychology exam, and the following week I have my last exam. It's a weird feeling being so close to the end, and I'm sure I'll feel a bit shell-shocked on the 28th.

Aside from my exams, revision and coursework, I've been reconnecting with what got me interested in psychology and neuroscience in the first place. I had the chance to work with some neglect patients last week - I still find it crazy that a couple of years ago I was fascinated reading about hemispatial neglect, and now I've not only worked with patients, but also published an article about the condition (incidentally, I received a text from my supervisor today, telling me that my fellow students have been citing my article in their essays! And there I was, thinking it would only be me citing the article). Working with the patients reminded me how I got into psychology: reading the books of Oliver Sacks. This prompted me to start spending my birthday money (oh yeah, I'm 22 now. I'm not sure I like this age. I might regress to 21 and just stay there forever...), and I've bought two 'popular' neuroscience books.

One of the books I'm still waiting to be delivered from the US, but it looks fascinating. It's about cases of patients who have suffered trauma to the brain in some way, shape or form, and it has the most fantastic title I've read in ages: The Case of the Dueling Neurosurgeons. I came across the book after reading an article about Phineas Gage (considered to be one of the most famous patients in neuroscience, a railway worker who survived a metal pole through the frontal lobes), and I'm really looking forward to reading it when my exams are done!

The second book I bought, I'm already completely hooked on. It's called 'Phantoms in the Brain' by a famous neurologist called V. S. Ramachandran. Ramachandran's work has largely focused on phantom limb syndrome (a condition arising following amputation of a limb, where patients feel as if their limb is still there), and in the book he talks about how cases such as these (and other cases of patients with unusual symptoms following brain injury) can influence how we consider the functioning of the brain. I'm only four chapters in so far (although I only started reading it today), but I already love the book. Ramachandran has a great writing style, and always considers the meaning of the condition for both those (like me) who want to find out how the brain works, and the personal meaning for the patients. In particular, I like how Ramachandran speaks about the use of case studies in neuroscience. There's a tendency for many scientists (and indeed, members of the public) to want big studies, with many patients and lots of data. The aim of this is to find evidence for big, unified theories of the brain. As a result, small case studies of unusual disorders are largely considered as little more than curiosities. However, Ramachandran argues that neuroscience is still largely in its infancy, and in fact we can learn more from one or two unusual patients that we can from hundreds of studies on control participants. I think a good balance should be struck between the two forms of data - and this is something I would be very keen to base myself on if (when) I become a researcher myself. Above all else, case studies serve an important purpose in my opinion: reminding us that we're studying patients, not disorders, people not just brains.

In line with this last point, I feel the need to point out that this week is Headway's Action for Brain Injury week. I feel that many other health campaigns get lots of attention (think of the no make-up selfies for cancer awareness), however brain injury is largely ignored. Indeed, often the first people learn of the consequences of brain injury is when they or a relative suffer damage. As I've stated many times, we are in serious need of finding new ways to support people with brain injury. We also need to consider that patients with unusual cognitive conditions aren't just curiosities - Phineas Gage isn't just a case in a book, he was also a person. I know my blog is really for a select audience, however if you read this then I'd urge you to share the following link to Headway. While I want to dedicate my whole career to helping people with brain injuries, this isn't the only way people can help. Raising awareness of brain injury is likely to help, even just a little. Hopefully, with growing awareness, we can move closer to finding more about the brain and to do more for those affected by an injury.

Paris, Revision, and Milestones

I've been back from Paris for a whole week now - I'm definitely feeling the whole 'holiday blues' thing! I'm pleased I managed to get away for a little while. I saw some amazing places (Versailles - I'm sure the gold could pay for 1,000 master's degrees!), had complete sensory overload and managed to practice my French! It was a heck of a lot of fun, and one day I will have to go back.

Back to reality, the revision has started. I hate revision. I really hate it. I'm a good student, but I defy anyone to sit in a room for over a month, staring at textbooks, notes and highlighters, and say it's fun. Still, in 35 days I'll be done with my degree! I still have a bit more to write on my neuroscience extended essay (I keep changing my mind about the structure - perfectionism gets you great marks but it's a complete pain sometimes... Well, most of the time...), and I'm waiting to hear back from my supervisor about my dissertation draft (gulp!), but I'm well on schedule to get everything done in advance. I can safely say that I'll have earned my summer break this year. Sure, I'll be working, but it won't be coursework and textbooks!

I'm slightly worried about my reaction when my degree will be over. In second year, I remember the weird feeling once my exams were over - quite a few people laughed at how lost I looked. I honestly don't know what I'll feel once everything's done with. Probably shock for a while, then relief. Once my exams are over, it's only a short wait until I get the results. I get far more nervous over results than exams, but this year I'll be off on holiday, so maybe that will help. Time will tell I suppose!

Tomorrow marks five months until I start my MSc! This is incredibly exciting, and I'm happier and happier the closer I'm getting. I'm currently revising some topics which are completely uninteresting, so you can't imagine what it'll be like when I'm reading about brains and neurons again (yeah, I realise how nerdy this sounds)! I still have some more money to raise, and I suspect a lot of my summer will be dedicated to raising the last of the funds. Again, I'll take the opportunity to remind you of my fundraiser - please share and/or donate, as everything will help enormously! I'm getting closer and closer to raising all of the cash (I have well over two thirds of the fee now!), and I can tell you now that a huge weight will be lifted once I know for sure I can pay for everything. First though, I have to get through my degree, graduate and enjoy my summer break. This is definitely the easy part!

Firsts and Lasts

It's week 24. My last week of my last term at the University of Kent. Tomorrow, I have my last lecture here, and then it's just revision before the end in May. It's kind of scary thought, realising that next month I'll be done with my degree. It's quite a good feeling too, though. It means my hard work will finally be paid off (well, assuming we don't get a marking boycott - see my last post!), and I'll be able to move on to bigger and better things.

Before I get to finish everything though, I still have revision to do. I hate revising. I know, I'm a good student and I spend most of the revision period in front of books and notes, so you'd have thought it was something I didn't mind. Quite the opposite. Revision is boring. Making notes is boring. Especially when it's on topics you don't care about (I'm looking at you, Applying Psychology). Still, it is worth it. My grades this year are the best they've ever been across my degree, and this is something I hope to continue with the final pieces of work. I did figure out that I only need 40-something per cent in my exams this year to end up with a first in my degree, but now my grades are nothing more than a matter of pride. It's reassuring that I should still end up with a great degree, but I want to get the highest grades I possibly can - which means locking myself in my room for a month to pore over books and notes. Ah well, it's just over six weeks until  the end, so I'm sure I will cope.

Aside from revision, I have two pieces of work left to complete: my dissertation (currently 69 pages long and with a results section and half a discussion still to write - god help my printer!), and a neuroscience extended essay. The dissertation is, frankly, a pain, as my study hasn't quite gone to plan. Nothing that can't be fixed, it just means I'm using statistics I've never seen before, or resorting to descriptive results (which are very wordy, and difficult with a 6,000 word limit!). The neuroscience essay on the other hand is a piece of cake! It's about hemispatial neglect, a topic on which I have already published a peer-reviewed journal article. How many students write the coursework after they publish the papers? It's great, and it means I'm able to cite my own work (purely out of pride). While this work isn't due in until May, I think I'll be done in a week or two (with time for preening and tidying).

So, apart from the relatively boring coursework/lectures/revision, what else has been going on? I've been tutoring again, and I think I'm helping my student come round to liking biological and cognitive psychology. It's been fun overall, and I'm really happy I could help someone with their studies!

I have lots of things to look forward to as well. This weekend, I'm having a break from everything by taking myself off to Paris! I'm stupidly excited about this, and I'm looking forward to seeing and doing new things. No doubt there will be endless pictures. After my exams finish I'm going to Geneva in June. Again, something I'm stupidly excited about. In July, I'll be graduating, and in September I'll be starting my MSc in Cognitive Neuroscience at one of the most prestigious universities in the UK (and Europe. Maybe the world?). No wonder I'm so happy!

Marking Boycotts

Dear lecturers and members of the University and College Union,

Recently, there has been a lot of news surrounding the proposed marking boycott due to take place from the 28th of April should a deal over pay not be reached by that point. While I have the utmost sympathy for your position (there is of course nothing right over one group of individuals in an institution receiving a pay rise while other workers receive nothing), I implore you all to avoid a marking boycott for the sake of the people who make universities possible: the students.

I am currently in my fourth year of university, and now less than eight weeks away from finishing. In just over three months, I will finally receive my degree at my graduation ceremony. I have worked endlessly, striving to constantly improve and learn and work towards a career that will (hopefully) help many others in the future. When I started college, I never wanted to go to university. Now I'm here, I can honestly say it's been the best decision I have ever made. I've loved most of my time at uni, but I'm not going to lie: it's been tough.

I'm a good student. I always work to get the highest grades I possibly can, and often I'm my own worst enemy. The standards I set myself often lead to a lot of self-criticism, but it's just a way of getting better and better. The stress and effort are worth it, as I know that soon I'll be graduating and on my way to the next part of my career.

The emotional strain I was under for months while applying for postgraduate places was immense. Similarly, the joy I felt when I finally got the news I wanted was amazing. I'm thrilled that I'm on track to graduating with a first class degree, and that I will soon be starting an MSc at one of the world's best universities.

This is all very good news, and I should be celebrating. However, the anxiety I'm feeling around the marking boycott is growing. I cannot cope with the thought that all of this hard work will be for nothing should you embark on the marking boycott. I am aspiring to become a lecturer myself. I want to produce original research, and help students like me reach their potential too. Why, then, should all of this be threatened over a pay dispute?

If you choose to begin the marking boycott, you would directly affect my grades. My dissertation may go unmarked. My exams may go unmarked. Without these marks, I won't be able to graduate. If I don't get my degree, I can't go to UCL. All of my hard work over four years would be worthless. Because of your arguments.

Why would a marking boycott work? You're not punishing chancellors. You're not punishing the people who set your pay. You're punishing those you should be encouraging. While most students are very supportive of fair pay, you won't receive support from those who are directly affected by the marking boycott. In 2006 when you took similar action, the deal you were offered increased by 0.5%. Is destroying our futures worth this?

I cannot tell you how scared I am that this nightmare scenario will happen. It doesn't seem fair to me that my future is jeopardised. My graduation, the thing I have been looking forwards to for months, might not happen. That is unthinkable with the work I have put into my future. Please, don't let this happen.