Halfway There

Well, this week is week 6. Halfway through term 1. I'm surprised at how quickly it's gone, but it feels like I have a long way still to go. For most of this week, I've been finishing off my final year project proposal. I've re-written the analyses section at least six times. I keep having brainwaves and new ideas, none of which I'm ever entirely happy with. This piece of work has been taking over a little just lately, but I think it's ok overall. It's not my best piece of work, but it will do.

Other than that, I'm still waiting. Now it's November, I feel the anxiety stepping up another notch. Although, for someone who says 'I can't cope with this waiting anymore' at least once a day, I seem to be doing alright. I must admit though, I will feel a million times happier once I know what I'm doing with my life.

I don't really have many distractions lately. I don't really know anyone from my year, so my final year isn't quite as enjoyable as maybe the other years were. Or perhaps it's just linked to the fact that I want to leave university now and move on to different things. I don't know. What I do know is I would be very grateful for a holiday at the moment. However, as it's nearly the end of the year, that probably won't happen. Plus, if I have interviews, I won't be able to take time off. And work is stepping up. I suppose I always have next summer, but it's such a long time away, and really I can't think much past January right now.

Ok, I'm rambling slightly, but that's what spending weeks doing coursework and answering emails will do to you.

On a more positive note, on Tuesday I had another French class, and amazingly I seem to be doing very well! I was terrified of speaking another language - writing and understanding was fine, but speaking... However, I seem to be growing in confidence every week, and I'm absolutely loving the classes. My teacher is fantastic. She's very encouraging, but she's also very, very quick to correct you when you pronounce something wrong. So, imagine my joy when last night I managed to read something to her to test my pronunciation and she replied with 'Oh, Maria, très bien! Fantastique!'. A small victory, perhaps, but I still felt proud of myself.

So, the question remains on how to keep distracting myself until I have some answers about my PhD. Today, I treated myself to a new electric whisk and made a cake. I've always said my alternative career would be a baker. I guess in a few months I will know whether I have to make that career a reality or if I can carry on studying brains. Time will tell. For now, I'll keep looking at holidays I don't have time for and practising French.